Ode To Norwich
This is dedicated to you Norwich University, with your sub-zero temperatures and poorly ranked sports teams. You have strict rules about everything and each student has broken at least 3 of them. You contain restricted grass and endless stairs. Every student has slipped on ice trying to get to class and has been hit with numerous snowballs.
You include rules about telling on naughty people, and about forgetting to tell the truth. Most students have an ‘alcoholism’ problem or tell on those with that problem. Your RA’s take their jobs very seriously and discourage all normal college activity. Students are restricted from basic needs such as TV, edible food, and moderate living space yet encouraged to “read” to pass time. You require half of your occupants to wake up at 5:30 AM every morning, stand outside, then go back to sleep.
You discourage the wearing of hats and promote solidarity in your room. The only free connection to the outside world is the internet, that is, if you own a computer. Your parking lots are dangerous and usually covered in ice, yet the minimum speed limit is and has always been 30 MPH. For some, walking in the gutters, not talking outside, and getting yelled at is a way of life. Your students spend most of there time participating in pointless, mindless activities to waste time. Internet games have become reality.
This is dedicated to you, the school that deprives college students of a college life and promotes the usually overlooked fact of college, classes. You enforce an attendance policy and are probably not far from giving detentions. You put us in 10’x10’ rooms with another person and told not to hang out in the hallways. The only difference between you and a prison is the bars, and yet we would think no different of you if you had them.
You have lost half of your original students and yet still convince more to come every semester. The only real partying that occurs amongst your students are off-campus, but don’t worry, the police have that covered. People going out for mid-night strolls find themselves in the company of the law on suspicion of alcohol consumption. You have numerous windows that when you look to the outside world you see nothing but a mountainside. Your occupants find themselves reverting back to childhood activities such as sledding and the ever popular naptime.
This is dedicated to you for the simple fact that students would rather stay asleep all day than have to get up and experience what you have to offer. It is not that you are not loved, it is just that it is like loving a big fistful of snow in the face. You have been suppressing young people for over a hundred years and hopefully you will continue for at least a hundred more. To all your occupants, it is only 4 years taken from your life, it could be worse. For now, we will continue to drink excessively, attend way to many classes, and stay in our cells (rooms).
December 18th, 2004 at 7:31 pm
Yeah, fuck you Norwich!
January 2nd, 2005 at 6:08 am
You should update more.
January 21st, 2005 at 9:08 am
ya and dont forget to put in there, that for freshman there are no such things as weekends for everyday is a norwich day
April 26th, 2005 at 12:02 pm
NU is the biggest waste of time ever. For all you people currently dealing with NU get out ASAP. You have four more years of fun life and Norwich takes away the expierence.